navigating the second Gilded Age through humor, invective and insight

“Just because you don’t know anybody from the right-hand side of the bell curve doesn’t mean they’re not there”

Why Do They Even Care??

One of the weirdest – and least understandable – things about the “gender wars” is this:

Are we trying to force the people who object to expanding the definition of gender to identify themselves in a new way, a way they don’t want to? Or in any way at all? No. They’re still free to check the box they’ve always checked.

Does someone assigning themselves a non-traditional gender harm these stalwart defenders of what they believe to be right and proper? Their feelings, maybe (in some cases, definitely).

But — stop me if I’m wrong here — having your feelings hurt occasionally isn’t damage. It’s part of being an adult in a diverse community. Not to mention the person being forced to identify themselves in what they believe to be an incorrect way could also claim damage under such a definition. What a mess that would be!

Do they think forcing someone to check a particular box on a form magically makes that person traditionally male or female? I wouldn’t think so. But then again, the rampant, demonstrated inability of Trumpanzees to think critically makes me wonder if they do, in fact, believe in magic.

I remember the first time I encountered a significant number of non-traditional gender people. It was in a disco in Cleveland my then girlfriend and I went to with her roommate1 As best we could tell we were the only straight couple in the place.

When I went to the bathroom, I ended up using the urinal next to a well-dressed “woman”. I recall “she” was quite good-looking…but I didn’t feel threatened by “her”.

A bit uncomfortable, sure, like I did on the dance floor with my girlfriend. But if you can’t tolerate a bit of discomfort in public from time to time, you’re leading a very sheltered, and limited, life. Fine for you if that’s how you want to live, of course.

But why take away someone else’s pursuit of happiness when you can just ignore what they’re doing? Particularly since they aren’t asking you to play a role in their life?

My podcast buddy Seth tells the story of how his young son, when gay marriage was being battled over in court, wondered if granting a man the right to marry another man meant he himself would have to marry a man when he grew up. Seth explained that it didn’t; he could marry whoever he wanted.

To which his son replied “Then I don’t get it. Why are people arguing?”

If an eight-year-old can figure it out, why can’t those nimrods who insist on limiting how others define themselves?


  1. It was also the night my girlfriend learned her roommate was gay or bi. 

His Imperial Majesty Speaks!

mostly incoherently, but still…

“CONGESTION PRICING IS DEAD, Manhattan, and all of New York is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!