navigating the second Gilded Age through humor, invective and insight

“The other side always gets a move”

Kick Daddy to the Curb!

One of the more bizarre reactions to the second coming of Trump the First involved administration officials and celebrities saying how they were glad daddy — His Imperial Majesty — was home. Mel Gibson was even glad to see that daddy was about to take his belt off, presumably to punish bad people.

There’s a lot to unpack here.

Think about what’s meant by such statements. The speaker is saying he or she can’t deal with the world and the other people in it, and needs some big, strong adult to show up and do what he or she couldn’t.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with admitting you need help. But this isn’t just a cry for help. It’s the reaction of a terrified child craving the protection, support and love of a parent.

Someone to take pity on, and try to help? Of course. But to pay attention to their approach to dealing with the world? They’ve just admitted they can’t handle the world. That makes them one of the last people anyone should pay attention to!

It’s also revealing about how they equate daddy’s ability to make things better with violence directed towards others.

Good parents sometimes use force to achieve desirable outcomes. But it’s hardly the first or only thing they try. Because the goal is to make things better while avoiding or minimizing pain inflicted on others. Isaac Asimov famously observed violence is the last refuge of the incompetent1. Why would anyone pay attention to an incompetent? A self-professed failed incompetent?

Using Trump as a father-figure is revealing in a very different way. If you read about his life, it’s hard to see him ever being nominated for Father of the Year. By anyone, let alone his kids2.

Trump’s niece, Mary, who holds a PhD in clinical psychology, wrote a fascinating book about her uncle’s weird mind (it’s definitely worth reading). Among other things, The Donald is clearly working out daddy issues of his own. His father seems to have been a cold-hearted son of a bitch who lived only for himself and his business and had little interest in anything beyond either3.

Younger son Donald saw how Fred Sr. treated Fred Jr. and responded by adopting a bullying approach aimed at convincing his dad he, Donald, could beat anyone. Like all forms of bullying, it aimed to hide weakness or uncertainty. And apparently it worked so well that Donald thoroughly internalized it. All of which hardly makes him somebody I’d want as the adult in the room.

Trump the First is disturbed on so many levels it would take a long time to document each pathology. But I want to share one more true story about him that was burned into my brain. And not in a good way.

During the 2016 Republican National Convention, Trump’s children showered him with praise. That’s typical, and understandable.

What isn’t typical is that, when his daughter went up to give him a hug after speaking, he grabbed her ass with both hands on live, national TV. I remember this vividly, because she was facing away from the camera.

I will confess here that I, on occasion, have used that particular grip with certain women. It is, always, a not-so-subtle way of saying “let’s have sex!”4

No decent father would do such a thing. Yet it’s par for the course for His Imperial Majesty.

All of this is why he needs to be kicked to the curb.


  1. H. Beam Piper responded by saying indeed, violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, because only the incompetent wait until the bitter end to use violence. Personally, I think there’s truth in both perspectives. But Piper’s rejoinder shouldn’t be taken to mean one should respond to everything with violence. 

  2. except maybe in a desperate attempt to garner affection or approval from him 

  3. In fact, Mary Trump shows how Fred Trump drove his eldest son, Fred, Jr., into addiction and ultimate suicide because the son didn’t want to go into the “family business”. 

  4. It also looks to me like he was checking out her boobs. 

His Imperial Majesty Speaks!

mostly incoherently, but still…

Trump commenting on his brilliant move to supply more water in California:

“Today, 1.6 billion gallons and, in 3 days, it will be 5.2 billion gallons. Everybody should be happy about this long fought Victory! I only wish they listened to me six years ago — There would have been no fire!”

Unfortunately:

  • the increased flow is likely to simply cause flooding;
  • the released water is normally held back to irrigate crops during California’s hot, dry summer; and,
  • local farmers and officials are really, really pissed about this.

But who cares about farmers?